Welcome to the first installment of a new arbitrary series, “How to Boston”, in which we talk you through those important Boston habits and help you fit in. Today, How To T-Surf.
Earlier this week, someone learned the hard way that there is a right and wrong way to “Surf” the T. The most important thing this perp forgot? That you’re not supposed to surf the outside of the T.
T-Surfing, for definition’s sake, is when you live life on the wild side in a nearly empty T car through the act of standing in an aisle and attempting to navigate a bumpy ride without holding on. Because it’s a public service, I would like to remind you of the following guidelines to ensure your safety and successful execution of surfing the T:
- Proper form involves standing in the middle of an aisle, with one foot toward the driver and one toward the back of the car. You’ll want the front-to-back weight shift for balance. Trust me.
- As the train is moving, you are not to hold on.
- The trolley sections of the Green Line offer the most reliable places to surf, for several reasons, including the likelihood of emptier trains, frequent stops to provide you shorter waves and the proper terrain to keep you on your T-Surfing best. Only experts should attempt Red Line T-Surfing.
- Safety warning on the Green Line – if you end up in a Terminator T, do not T-Surf on the stairs or the edge of the elevated seating area.
- Rush Hour T-Surfing doesn’t count. Just because you aren’t holding onto a hand rail doth not surfing it make. The close proximity to the bodies and fluids of strangers is closer to a wave pool than surfing.
- Optional: wearing a helmet.
I wish you safe and happy T-Surfing, my friends. Some would say it’s the only proper way to get from Allston back into town after a night at one of the Harvard Ave haunts.