Opening Number: 360 Calories

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dunkin donut sandwich

America Runs on Sugar and Bacon.

So believes Dunkin’ Donuts, which is ringing in National Doughnut Day 2013 (real thing) by unleashing on America a new breakfast sandwich that is bacon, egg and cheese…on a glazed doughnut.

Your full smattering of hardcore food porn can be found a this-a-way, but I’d like to point out one of the key facts that has trickled in during press runs this week: at 360 calories, this bad boy is actually slightly less unhealthy than the regular breakfast sandwiches at the Dunk (390 calories).

Of course, this sort of corporate shamockery is exactly the kind of stuff that is taking what matters out of National Doughnut Day. We’re with you, Eric Randall, and we want to go back to a simpler time when we heralded what the day was really about, not some commercialized gluttony that loses sight of the meaning.