An Imagined Oral History of the Time We Found Out About Bloomberg’s Report on Tom Brady’s Preseason Injury

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Earlier this afternoon, Tom Brady reportedly left practice with an apparent knee injury, and a single preliminary report from Bloomberg indicates that the news isn’t good to the tune of ACL and MCL injuries.

While one single report from a financial news institution, there is some collective moment of anguish coming across New England is obviously thinking back to the 2008 injury at the hands of Bernard Pollard…and the fact that the #3 QB on the depth chart, one Tebow Comma Timothy, could potentially be the new backup is either a point of fear or immense glee (the latter is coming from Bristol.)

This is how we imagine collectively remembering the moment where we considered taking Bloomberg’s report seriously. This is an oral history of that moment.

Ryan Mallet (Second-String Quarterback, New England Patriots): You know, I saw him walk off the field, and I didn’t hear anything anout that Bloomberg report. You guys know how Bellichick is. I just put my helmet on and he scrambled the rest of the frequencies anyway, so not like I could have heard. Wait, you mean I have to do what now?

Chris “Boomer” Berman (ESPN Talking Head/Hype Man): Go on. I’m listening. Wait, does this mean we’re almost at Tim Tebow starting for the Patriots if Mallet goes down, too? </starts drooling on desk>

Tim Tebow (Noted Football Enthusiast): Yes, today is my birthday.

Bernard Pollard (Safety, Tennessee Titans): Yeah, I’ll take credit for this one, too. You don’t just earn the name Patriots Killer unless you’re me or Aaron Hernandez.

Mike “Sully” Sullivan (Fan, South Boston): Faaaaaaaaaaack.

Andrew Donahue (Contributer, We Love Beantown): Maybe it’s my glass half full view on things, but what i read initially and what i saw on the video didn’t look that serious.

“Sully”: Faaaaaaaaaaack.