Opening Number: 18 Degrees

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Look, it’s cold right now, about 18 degrees out according to my latest weather.com refresh. So let’s have a quick conversation about something, namely the creepiest holiday song of all time, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

First off, I think there should be a little more concern about the fact that one of the lines of the song is, “Hey, what’s in this drink?”, yet we keep playing it at our holiday parties and the Bublé duets of our dreams. War on Christmas? Please. War on chivalry.

Second off, the song is basically just a slightly classier version of Blurred Lines. Consider this lyrical gem from Robin Thicke:

What do they make dreams for
When you got them jeans on
What do we need steam for
You the hottest bitch in this place

How is that not nearly the same as these lines sung by the member of the Baby It’s Cold Outside duet who serves as the host at various points in the song, often the male:

Mind if I move in closer?
What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
Gosh, your lips look delicious
Waves upon a tropical shore

Baby It’s Cold Outside is not a romantic song. And it’s not at the same level of date-rapeyness as Robin Thicke. It’s just on that side of the blurred line.

Heh, and you probably thought this post was about the weather. It’s cold. Why dwell?